I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
