not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
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The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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