the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize