god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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