And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
