we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
