no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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