I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
All the doctor said was why
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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