my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
