We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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