I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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