dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
