I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
