I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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