it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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