no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wear drunk well.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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