He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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