You were right. It hurts to walk today.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
