Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
