I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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