bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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