Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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