I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Someone signed my nipple.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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