doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
