This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
