Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I have post one night stand depression
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