Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
