Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize