i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize