Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize