I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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