I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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