When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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