i need an iv and a liver transplant
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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