I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
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My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
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I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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