We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
