just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize