Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
