I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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