Got a toothbrush?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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