Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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