my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize