R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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