I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
