just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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