The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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