If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
