He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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