This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
