And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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