playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
