How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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