He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My pussy is not your playground.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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