it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
