escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
