butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize