he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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