My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
