Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
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That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
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Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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