hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He better not be in your backpack
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
