Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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