Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
