you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
