can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
