hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
