So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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