I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
